You see it all the time. Other peoples opinions on how YOU should parent your child. You probably opened this up thinking I am going to tell you some great advice how to parent your child. Well, I am not sure if its going to be great advice or even the advice you were looking for but here is my opinion; stop reading other peoples opinions. Start raising your child the way you know you should. In all honestly nobody's opinion matters when it comes to your children except yours and your partners.
I see it all the time on Facebook, people post opinions that relate to their parenting. Sadly, a lot of people think that their opinion is the only one that matters. That if you are not parenting in the way that they think is right then you are not a good parent. Okay, okay, they might not go that far but they think their way is the best way to go. They think if you try any other method you are just wasting your time and could potentially be hurting your kids. The thing about kids is, no two kids are a like. One way of parenting a child might work for one but not work for another.
There is no right or wrong way to parent your children. In the end all that matters is we have children that care about others, that obey laws and are obedient but know when some things need to be pushed, and that are passionate. There are other things we want for our children too but at least for me these ones are very important. I want well rounded kids that are grow up to be kind and caring people. To lead my kids down this path I know that it is going to take more than one parenting style. I need to cater to each child as an individual and not treat them like they are all the same.
Let me give you an example. Bridgette my oldest likes to push hard. She is the type that knows what she wants and will figure out how to get it. She is very bright. Putting her in time out doesn't work. Actually, not a lot of parenting styles work on her. What has the best impact on her is to sit down and talk things out and be patient. Also if she pushes too hard she needs to be pushed back so when she does sometimes she just needs a quick spank on the butt to understand she is not in charge. Yes I spank my kids! I know *GASP* all these online perfect parents say that's a no-no but I am doing what I feel is right for my kids. I truly believe that there is a time for spanking and while there is a chance to over push it, sometimes it is needed. My families rules for spanking is we never do it out of anger, we only do it when we have tried multiple attempts to correct the behavior with no avail, and we only do a quick spank right on the butt. We never spank anywhere else or do it multiple times. This is what we feel comfortable with but like I said, there is no one right way.
Now with Emelia, we just have to give her a look and she usually stops immediately. Sometimes she pushes back (now that we are in the terrible twos and going into the even more terrible threes) we have been been trying out different things for when she does. What we do for Bridgette does not work for Emelia, and what we do for Emelia does not work for Bridgette. We all live under the same household and we are all family but that does not mean we are the same person. Even as adults different things annoy my husband but don't bother me at all. We are all individuals so that needs to be catered too.
The whole point of this blog is to tell you to not get frustrated when you read all these blogs about perfect parenting and how it does not work for your kids. Don't think that your kids are the only ones that none of these helpful parenting tips (from people who don't know you our your kids) works on. It gets frustrating reading things on how we need to parent from online, reading magazines, and even seeing it on tv. The thing is nobody is going to parent your kid how you parent them and that is NOT a bad thing. I believe God gave us each the ability to cater to our own kid needs. God blessed us as the parent of our kids for a reason. I truly believe that nobody can parent and know whats right for our kids besides us.
We have the innate ability to know what our kids need. Yes, sometimes it is frustrating and we really have to try different things out to see what works best. Parenting is not a straight line, there are many bumps a long the way. There is no straight way and no one path leads to the same result. The truth is that even all these bloggers and writers on the internet don't even know what they are doing. They just tell you what has worked for them, but it isn't guaranteed to work for you. They are just as lost and have their bad moments just like you do. I know without a doubt I do. Sometimes I feel like I have no clue what I am doing and sometimes I am so full of love and pride for my kids I know I am just where I need to be.
If you are one of these bloggers one people that post on Facebook saying their way is the only way, you need to stop. It is great to post about what has worked for you and try to help out others. The problem is what that turns into a shame on you for not parenting how I parent. You have no right to judge anyone. You don't know other peoples kids or how to parent them. Like I said before, there is no right path. When you judge other parents you are not helping them, you are hurting them and possibly hurting their kids. We need to stop butting into each others lives and start living our own. We need to be compassionate and caring towards one another. We need to stop the shaming process and start the support for one another.
We all make mistakes. What I choose for my kids might not be what another person chooses. I might make a quick decision that another person would never do. That is okay. We all need to do what we feel comfortable with. So, now that you made it through this post give yourself a big hug, a big pat on the shoulders, and say "I am a great mom" because you are. You truly are. P.S. this goes for dads too, but you don't have to hug yourself or anything to keep your manliness in tact. ;-)
Peace and Love,
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