We are also dealing with some family issues right now. I am not going to say what they are, but if you could say a little prayer for our family I would really appreciate it. I might tell you guys about it in the future but right now, I am just not comfortable with it. We are all healthy. Outside forces are really trying to break things apart for us. I know God is there with us and he will guide us through this but extra prayer is always helpful.
Wednesday we got to find out a lot of what our family was dealing with. It was a frustrating, saddening, and just plain stupid day. I am lucky I have some amazing people in our corner but I am still worried about what is going to happen. So, our church sometimes does these worship nights. It has been a while since they had one and what do you know on the day we needed it the most we were able to attend a worship night. Wednesday night was amazing and after the horrible day we had, it was wonderful to go and worship God.
So, what is worship? Worship to me is expressing my love for God. Okay, so I am going to get off topic here but it is for a reason, I promise. My pastor speaking is amazing. He is a wonderful speaker and he puts the Bible into terms I understand. He is also so funny. If this whole pastor thing doesn't work out I would recommend him becoming an comedian. For reals. I will admit I have never been able to read through the Bible. I can read all day but when I open the Bible I cannot make it more than a few pages. What I do read I would not be able to remember it for the life of me. I just get so confused and honestly, a bit bored. Being able to go to a church that the pastor can explain the Bible into terms I understand is crucial to me being close to God. Listening to Pastor Jeff speak is my second favorite part of going to church.
I have probably confused you. Second? You just went on about how much you enjoy it and how amazing it is. Yes, that is true but worship is my favorite part of church. We have an amazing band that is 100% volunteers that go to our church. They are not trying to make it big in the music world they just want to bring people closer to God through music. A night that focuses on my absolute favorite part of church was amazing.
I know a lot of my "friends" are atheist. I am mostly talking about my Facebook friends that's why the hyphens are there. I understand that. No, I wont try to force you to believe in God when you don't want to. I am telling you that you are missing out on something amazing by not having that faith in your life. You might think that you are whole, but there is a hole that God fills in you. I am very science minded. I love science and it has always interested me. I also like to think logically which sometimes it can interfere with my faith. The thing about faith that I am beginning to understand is it's a feeling. No, sometimes its not logical at all. That's why they call it faith instead of proof. It's a belief you have. It's something that carries its way through you. It is a part of you.
Okay, okay so I have gotten way off of topic. Geesh now back to what I was saying. Worship is my absolute favorite part of church. Our band plays current music and they are totally rock stars. Seriously, they are amazing! Real quick, you guys should tell me how many times I put amazing in this post. I think its my word of the day. Anyways, I love being able to sing my favorite songs worshiping the Lord. On Wednesday night after the horrible day a worship night was just what I needed. We took the two little ones to the nursery and we were able to take our oldest with us into the auditorium. They started out with a couple songs and then they blindfolded us.
Literally. They put blindfolds on our seat and had each of us put them on. They said you didn't have to if you didn't want to but all the cool kids were doing it. Haha I kid, I kid. They did want us to put it on but we didn't have to. They wanted us to wear blindfolds because some people are more worried about what others think instead of letting themselves worship God in the way they feel like they should. With everyone blindfolded that meant that nobody was there to look at you funny or say that you were being weird. Not that they were doing it anyways but sometimes you feel like they are. Honestly, I have never been one to put my hands up or bow down or do any of that. I have never gotten a strong urge to do that. Maybe, you do it out of respect for God but I feel like there should be emotion in it and not doing it because you feel like that is what your supposed to do. With that said, I cry during worship instead of that. A lot. I mean a lot, a lot. A lot more than I would like to admit. Seriously, almost every service. I think you guys get the point.
I just feel so much emotion during worship that I seriously cannot hold it in. So, I didn't put my hands up or anything like that but I did hold on to my daughters hand and I was able to shed some tears without being self conscious about it. Well, until we had to take off the blindfolds but luckily it was dark still in there. It was an amazing experience and I really felt closer to God.
Now let me tell you a little about my experience during worship. There are so many things I felt that night. I felt whole. I felt loved. I felt that everything was going to be okay. Whatever happens, it happens for a reason. For the first time that day I felt okay with that. I don't always feel okay with it but that night I did. I also felt breathless. I felt my heart racing. I felt it beating so hard I thought it was going to beat out of my chest. All of those in a good way. It's like kind of hearing someone you love say they love you for the first time. Or holding your baby for the first time that you felt kicking inside of you and you loved before you even met them. It is a beautiful feeling. Also I wanted to sing out. I wanted to sing as loud as I could and even on the new songs I have never heard before. I wanted to sing them. I wanted to sing them to God. I felt completely whole.
I want everyone to be able to experience that. That is the whole reason why I say that you are missing out. You might not feel like you are. That is okay, no judgment here. I just know I was. I know that I have never had an experience like that. I didn't think I was missing out, but I was. Chances are even without thinking it you are missing out too. I have made mistakes in my life. I still make mistakes. I know no matter how many mistakes I make, I am loved. I will always be loved. Wednesday night, I felt that love.
I feel like there is so much more that I want to write but I still cannot put words to it. I hope if you are having a rough time in life that you can turn to God. If you have had a bad experience at church, then go find another one. Trust me if you you look you will find one that speaks to you. You don't have to have a church to find God but it is an amazing thing to find a church you feel a part of. The most important part is God wants a relationship with us, not a religion. Right now my church (Heritage Church in Sterling Heights, MI) is doing a service called no perfect people allowed. It is an amazing service so if you are in the area I highly suggest you check it out. You can also watch video's online at experienceheritiage.org.
Peace and Love,
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