I have been thinking about the topic of bullying for a while now. Pretty much since I first got Eli's diagnosis I wondered what his life would be like growing up. When I was in elementary school (2-4 grade) I remember coming home crying because somebody said something mean to me that day. Luckily, it didn't continue throughout my whole school career but it is something I remember. I belong a Facebook Group for parents that are dealing with craniosynostosis and I have seen the topic of bullying brought up quite a bit. Some children live completely normal lives after their surgery with no other surgeries but others have syndromes and have to have multiple surgeries. Some children's head shape will always be different from the cranio and some of them are being bullied because of it,
This makes me so sad because these children have gone through so much and they are warriors. It makes me sad that any child would be bullied and even though schools are doing a lot to prevent bullying now a days it is still happening. I feel like I need to air my opinion about this for people to read. You might not agree with me and that's okay but regardless I need to get my feelings out. I tried to make it easy with three points, but I'm a complicated person so the points are exactly as straight forward as I would have liked. Here we go:
1. Children can be the most caring, loving, and generous human beings. They can also be the most cruel. They are sponges and they really do pick up the behaviors and actions that are taking place around them. It is our responsibility as parents to make sure we are being good role models for our children. If they see us being judgmental of others then they will be judgmental of others. We need to teach them that there is no such thing as normal and differences are nothing to be afraid of. We need to teach them that just because a person is different doesn't give them a reason to tease and pick on them. We need to stop teaching our children that if a boy or a girl picks on them that means they like them. That just makes bullying seem like its okay because that means that the person likes them or that they like that person. No kindness and caring means you like someone.
When you start to point out differences and make fun of people your children think that that is okay to do and its not. It's really sad to see full grown adults being so cruel to others. Half of the time the parent is worse than the child when it comes to bullying. Don't think that bullying happens just in children, it doesn't. Adults can bully other adults too and children pick up on that quite quickly. We are all created by God and loved by God. Regardless of our differences we are all human beings and if we instill that in our children then they will instill that in their children. I remember a quote that says not only do we need to leave a better world for our children, we need to leave better children for our world.
2. Stop thinking that emotional pain is not pain. Stop thinking that just because someone is an emotional person that they are weak. Sometimes words can hurt more than a fist could. I remember reading about some suicides caused by bullying and I remember seeing some people saying that the person was weak. I remember seeing survival of the fittest and that the person deserved to die. Are you kidding me? First of all every life should be cherished and the loss of life is sad. NO matter whose life it was or how it ended it will still be sad. Don't get me wrong, when I die I know I will be in heaven and that is a wonderful thing. It is just a transition but it doesn't mean that the person wont be missed and that persons life didn't matter.
When a person commits suicide it does not mean that they were weak. They have just been worn down to the point where they see life as not worth living and nobody should ever feel that way. Emotional pain is such a deep pain, one of the deepest pains there are. If a person is being bullied every day and sometimes every hour of every day it wears them down. That's why we need to create kinder children and let them know teasing, bullying, and cruelty will not be tolerated. We need to teach them that every life is precious.
3. When your child points or stares make that an opportunity. Don't automatically scold the child for noticing differences. It happens, children (actually all humans) are curious beings. When we scold our children for staring or pointing we are teaching them that being different is bad and to be feared. It's not, so make it an opportunity for your child to make a new friend. When your child points or stares how about asking them if they would like to introduce themselves to the person instead of instantly scolding them. Yes, staring and pointing may be considered rude but it is also them just being curious.
I rather have a child come up and directly ask me what happened to our son. I rather have an adult do the same thing. It gives me a chance to tell them about craniosynostosis and create awareness. Now does everyone feel that way? No, probably not but the majority of people that has gone though what we have would want to spread awareness and make children not afraid of our little ones. My sons scar can be pretty scary. Especially now that its still new, but it gives me a chance to tell others what a little warrior he is.
I am both scared and excited for what the future hold for my children. I would be wrong to think that they will never be bullied in their life, because sadly they will. It's my job to make sure that the bullying doesn't make them cruel. So, if you see me and my little cranio-warrior around come and say hi! Tell your children to come and say hi and I will gladly answer all the questions you guys may have. I am so proud of my little man. He has gone through so much in his short life and he is still smiling and happy. Like Ellen DeGeneres says "be kind to one another."
Peace and Love,
No comments:
Post a Comment