At school if her friends won something the first thing she would say is " I didn't win anything, but they did." She compares her hair to her friends and how tall she is. She compares her clothing and the things her friends have and she doesn't. It makes her miserable comparing herself to her friends and classmates. At first I thought it was just her being a kid. Now I realize she is getting that from somewhere and I notice how much I do it now.
I compare my hair to others and wish I had easy to manage hair. I compare my clothing to others and wish I could have an expensive wardrobe. I compare the size and look of my house to other peoples and think what I could do with just a little bit more room. I compare my stomach and legs to others. The fact that I got cursed with stretch marks on my stomach and my legs have horrible varicose veins while other people were lucky that they didn't get that from pregnancy. I compare my business to others and think of how well they are doing and why am I not doing that well? I am friendly enough, and I love what I sell enough? I am knowledgeable enough, why are others making higher ranks faster than I?
I thought that it was good to compare myself to others, because that gives me a goal to strive for. That was until my daughter started to do it. Then I realized that it makes the goal look unachievable. It makes you want to give up quicker because you aren't in the place that others are. Whoever made the quote "comparison is the thief of joy" has it right. When we compare ourselves to others, what we do have seems less. It seems like our life is less than others lives are. It makes us feel sad, not happy. Most of all when we compare ourselves to our friends, it lessens our joy for what is happening in their lives. You want to be happy for them but you can't because of your own jealousy.
I know I will always compare myself to others in one way or another but I want to be happy with what I have. I need to be happy with what I have. I need to be happy with everything that God and my husband has provided me with. There will be down times in my life while others have up times. The thing is those same people will have their down moments too. Everyone succeeds at some things and fails at others. That's the way of life.
I should be happy that I even have hair, because some sadly don't due to illness or a condition. I should be happy that I even have clothing. Some people cannot afford to have as much clothing as I have. My house fits my family perfectly in it. Why do I need a bigger house? So that my family can be farther apart? I have great neighbors and a nice house. The fact that I have stretch marks and varicose veins mean that I was able to give birth. I am able to have three wonderful children of my own. Some people don't get to have that. I am doing well on my business. No I am not at the top, but I am also not at the bottom. Most of all I get to share with others something I love, who needs to make the next rank when you have passion. It is also helping out my family in so many different ways, for that I will always be grateful.
Sometimes it is hard to be appreciative of what we have. It seems like a lot of people have the grass is greener on the other side syndrome. They think if I could make more money I would be happier. If I have a bigger house I will be happier. If I am with this person I will finally be happier. If I take this new job I will finally be happy. Nine times out of ten those things will not make you happy. Sometimes they even make things worse. I can think of another quote that says "the grass is greener where you water it." So why don't we start watering the grass that we own?
I know that I am going to look at what I do have more than what I don't. If not for me, then for my children. I need to lead by example for all of my kids. If I want my kids to act or be a certain way, then I need to be that way. It wont be easy but I know it will be worth it. Being kind, generous, and happy for others is where joy comes from. We can be happy for others and what they have, even if we don't have it. We can feel joy helping others achieve goals that we ourselves want. I want my children to know that. I want my children to have a servants heart. I want myself to have a servants heart. If we spent more times just caring for others instead of wishing we had what they have, this world would be a better place.
Peace and Love,
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